The owner of Vondi’s Pet Nutrition, Paul, cannot see why kibble food for humans should not be a success. Kibble food for dogs, more than 50 years old, has found favour in every home, throughout the world.

“When you look at the claims, the producers of these kibble diets make, complete, balanced, wholesome, protein enriched, this looks like the ultimate diet and therefore there should be no reason why this type of diet won’t have the same success for humans”, he says.

Moreover, homes can be built with less fancy kitchens and fridge and freezer facilities. One can get rid of this equipment and make your kitchens more compact, thus allowing larger living area space.

Paul has already designed the state of the art kitchen, including shelving to accommodate a variety of human kibble bags. And just like with our pets, the shelf life is 24 months, which means that you could make an initial big investment and not have to incur future food expense.

Paul has been very open with his recipes and claims that human kibble will be just as tasty as dog and kitty kibble. His favourites are Indian Curry Kibble, Italian Spaghetti Bolognaise, Peking duck, Irish stew and Sunday Roast.

Paul assures us that human kibble will have all the necessary supplements, vitamins and minerals to promote exceptional nutritional values. Moreover, it will have a great “crunch”, thus cleaning your teeth at the same time. “Throw away your tooth brushes”, he says. “No more wasting money on dentists and toothbrushes.”

Eating habits that have lasted thousands of years will change. You timelines as to breakfast, lunch and dinner will change forever. You don’t have to adhere to the norm. You can even eat your human kibble whilst in motion – eat and walk along the promenade, eat and workout in the gym. You can eat human kibble in the car to work, you can eat it in the movies, fill your kids lunch boxes – all this time, anytime, enhancing nutritional well-being.

When asked if such a kibble diet will cause upset stomachs, he says: “on the contrary – I have added a product called beet pulp into my recipe, which will induce the perfect dry stool.  It’s a little like Imodium – but different.”

When asked why he believes that other great entrepreneurs had not discovered human kibble before, he wasn’t really sure but believed that he would still become a billionaire from this invention.

We put it to Paul that worldwide, health fanatics and nutritional experts are turning to “whole foods”, “organic foods”, “fresh from the farm preservative free foods”.

“Well”, he said, looking a little disappointed, “those green people are weirdoes and anyways, I will produce organic human kibble as well, if they insist”. “People have fed their pets with kibble for 50 years and if you ignore the odd bouts of cancer, diabetes, bladder disorder, obesity, arthritis, skin ailments –  then this makes for an excellent tasty meal. Most of all, nothing beats convenience”.